There’s such a bigness and tenderness to realizing that you’re neurodivergent later in life. On one hand, there’s that big exhale of finally having a name for your experiences and who you are. But many late diagnosed and late identified autistics also experience things like grief, sadness, autistic burnout and the aftermath of years of unresolved autistic trauma. Which is why one of the most loving and supportive things we can do for our dear autistic selves is to receive attuned support and care. That could look like neurodivergent affirming therapy or coaching, autistic centered trauma resolution, connecting to the autistic community and getting our autistics needs met. Showing up for our autistic selves with care and devotion, resolving trauma and unpacking internalized ableism can often feel life changing. In this blog post I’ll share what autistic post traumatic growth is and why autistic centered personal healing is so important.

What is post traumatic growth?

Post Traumatic Growth was first coined by psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun in the 1990s. Based on their research they identified 5 areas of post traumatic growth which include:

recognizing and embrace new opportunities.
Creating stronger connections with loved ones as well as with others who have experienced the same things they have.
They experience inner strength through the knowledge of what they have overcome.
They gain a deeper appreciation for life.
Changes in their spirituality.

Some examples of what post traumatic growth can look like are:

going from people pleasing to knowing your worth and sharing your needs
It can look like healing traumatic imprints and then experiencing agency, choice and safety.
It can look like trusting your own healing timeline and with enough time, patience and compassion experiencing a transformed sense of self-identify, creativity, power and more.

What is autistic post traumatic growth?

We know that autistics experience different types of trauma including complex trauma, sexual trauma and autistic trauma. While autistic post traumatic growth isn’t an official term, I personally believe it’s an important way we can talk about autistic specific healing. From my lived experiences as a late diagnosed autistic as well as an autistic coach who has worked with many late diagnosed autistics and AuDHDers I see autistic post traumatic growth including things like:

Getting their inner child’s autistic specific unmet needs met now as an adult.
Healing shame and internalized ableism beliefs so they can feel comfortable sharing their authentic self with themselves and others.
Knowing they are worthy of getting their needs met and feeling comfortable advocating for their autistic needs and accessibility needs.
Repairing any gaslighting or lack of validation they experienced surrounded their autistic needs when they were younger by experiencing self trust.
Relationships and community where they feels safe, seen and heard.
Creating a life that feels accessible and supportive to their autistic needs.

And more!

How can I support my own autistic post traumatic growth journey?

It can be so helpful to work with an autistic affirming therapist or coach who can help guide us in our own healing journey. In my work as a coach things that I see again and again that are deeply supportive for autistic healing are:

Honoring our own unique healing timeline. This looks like working with our autistic nervous systems and going at a pace that feels doable. Instead of approaching healing with an “all or nothing” mentality, can you focus on doing just the smallest doable step?
Make our environments 2% more supportive. I’ll never forget when an autistic life coach I was working with at the time shared with me that “environments make or break autistics.” What are ways you can make your environments even 2% more supportive and accessible?
Tend to the emergency before the deeper work. Think of it like this: if you came across someone drowning you probably wouldn’t talk to them about healing their inner child! That’s not to say that doing inner child work sometime with that person wouldn’t be supportive but they don’t have the capacity when they are literally drowning. We want to work on deeper work (like trauma resolution) when we have the capacity and aren’t “drowning.” So it makes sense to do work first on practical things like autistic burnout recovery and tending to sensory pain first.
What is the autistic care you need to receive? If you experienced your autistic needs consistently going unmet then the most healing thing is going to be to get your autistic needs met now as an adult. This could look like receiving care from a practitioner or loved one, reparenting your autistic inner child or showing up for your autistic self with so much care and love.
Autistic resourcing! What are things that are deeply supportive and resourcing for your autistic self? That could look like: engaging with autistic community, sensory supports, special interest time, stimming.

Your autistic healing matters.

I hope this blog post was helpful in your own autistic healing journey. I truly believe that us late diagnosed autistics deserve autistic affirming healing and I hope you have the best practitioners, tools and support for your own healing.

If you’re seeking autistic support and healing, I’d love to support you in my 5 month program The Autistic Mentorship. It includes:

An intensive intake session & healing document to identify your goals and developmental objectives that we’ll work on in our program together.
Three (75 minute) sessions a month.
Lots of support & education: think recap emails + personalized practices sent to your inbox, neurodivergent workbooks and resources and a bonus check in call to use when needed.

You can find out more about The Autistic Mentorship here.

Tiffany Landry is a queer autistic coach and trauma resolution practitioner. She works with queer and autistic clients in her program The Autistic Mentorship. Tiffany also writes a newsletter on Substack called The Queer Autistic Newsletter.

The information contained in this blog post is for general educational and informational purposes only and should not be construed as medical or mental health advice. The information provided is not a substitute for advice from a qualified professional who is aware of the facts and circumstances of your individual situation. We expressly recommend that you seek advice from a professional familiar with your specific situation.