How to Make Healing Autistic Accessible and Affirming.
Image description: Over a blue background there is a picture of a person with their hands over their heart and stomach. The title is written in black text and says “How to Make Healing Autistic Accessible and Affirming.”
It was shortly after I realized that I was Autistic that I began to ask myself: “was I masking in my healing?” At the time of receiving my official medical Autism and ADHD diagnosis I was a twice certified coach and had been involved in somatic coaching for years. Realizing that I was an AuDHDer made me put on a neurodivergent lens in all areas of my life-including in my approach to healing. It was through centering my Autistic needs and experiences that I was able to validate what I needed and advocate for my Autistic needs in both my business and in my personal healing. One of my core reasons for creating The Autistic Mentorship is because I truly believe that we deserve healing spaces and experiences that are Autistic centered, affirming and accessible. Which is why I wanted to share a few ways that we can make healing accessible and affirming for our Autistic selves. I hope this blog post supports you in making healing accessible and affirming for your neurodivergent self too.
Why is Autistic affirming healing important anyway?
At a very basic level: healing and support that doesn’t center our neurodivergence can be ineffective, unsupportive or even harmful. Let’s say you go to work with a therapist or coach to support you with your Autistic Burnout recovery. If your practitioner isn’t familiar with Autistic Burnout they might recommend support that’s tailored for someone experiencing occupational burnout or depression. I truly believe that most practitioners want to be neurodivergent affirming and due to a lack of education on neurodivergence can sometimes fail to do so. Which is why it’s so amazing to see so many courses and workshops that support therapists and clients in being neurodivergent affirming.
The reality is that healing spaces that aren’t neurodivergent affirming means that neurodivergent clients might experience things like:
Feeling like a “failure” or “nothing is ever going to get better” because therapy or coaching sessions simply aren’t supportive for their neurodivergent needs.
Inaccessible healing spaces. For example: perhaps it’s hard to focus during a therapy or coaching session because the environment isn’t sensory supportive or non-autistic communication styles or modalities just don’t feel accessible.
Feel unheard and unseen in their neurodivergent identities.
Having to spend time educating their practitioners about Autism or ADHD during their sessions.
It’s important to remember that you deserve the best care! Let’s go over some ways you can find a neurodivergent affirming practitioners and center your Autistic and AuDHD needs in your healing.
1.) Find an Autistic affirming therapist or coach.
Image description: Over a white background there is a title written in back text that says: “How to Find a Neurodivergent Affirming Coach or Therapist? Ask these questions!” There are then four questions that you can ask therapists or coaches.
Something I truly believe is that us late identified Autistics and AuDHDers deserve neurodivergent affirming care and support. Realizing that you’re neurodivergent later in life is hard and you shouldn’t have to go through it alone. It’s also incredibly important to be selective in who you choose to support you. Not everyone is going to be a right fit for you and that’s okay! The best thing you can do is to shop around for a right therapist or coach. You might see if they offer a free consultation call or if you can try out a session and see if you like it. The tip to finding a neurodivergent affirming therapist or coach is to ask questions like:
“Are you neurodivergent affirming and if so, how are your sessions neurodivergent affirming?”
“What’s your experience with Autistic burnout/shutdown/meltdowns and how do you work with clients who experience these things?”
“What’s your opinion on self identification versus a medical diagnosis?”
“What’s your experience working with Autistic and AuDHDer adults?”
“Are you familiar with the Neurodiversity Paradigm?”
I also recommend asking specific questions about the things you’re desiring to work on. So if you’re wanting to work on complex trauma or Autistic trauma, make sure to ask them questions about that! But as you ask these questions you’re going to want to ask yourself the following questions:
“How do I feel talking to this practitioner?” You might note things like “my stomach feels kind of funny”, “I feel comfortable” or “something feels off and I’m not sure what it is.” Remember that your feelings are valid and really important information.
“What does their language tell me about how neurodivergent affirming and knowledgeable they are?” So it someone is using “neurodiverse” incorrectly that’s information. It might be a red flag if you notice them using pathologizing language such as calling autistic traits “symptoms” or focusing on “fixing” versus accommodations .
“Does this feel like it would be a good fit for me?” You might ask yourself if working with this person would feel safe, ideal and doable for you as an Autistic or AuDHDer person.
A friendly reminder to trust yourself, your instincts and your body cues. You deserve the best support. If it’s not feeling like a good fit, keep searching!
2.) Make healing spaces accessible.
For years I used to give coaching sessions with Zoom video calls. It was how I had been trained and what I had always done. However, after my first Autistic Burnout episode and beginning to unmask I started to realize that video calls actually felt incredibly awful. I noticed that I felt sensory overloaded after coaching sessions and would need two hours to recover. This was honestly not sustainable for me or enjoyable. So I switched to audio phone call sessions with my clients (and later with my therapist) and it felt amazing. Something I like to tell my clients is that sometimes a small shift can have big impacts. What are some ways in which healing could be more accessible to your Autistic needs? Some ideas are:
Switching from video calls to audio phone calls. Most therapists and coaches are comfortable with this option when you explain that it’s an accommodation you need.
Sharing that eye contact is uncomfortable for you and that you’d prefer limited or no eye contact.
Using sensory aids such as noise cancelling headphones, sunglasses, fidgets, weighted blankets or plushies.
Identifying what feels most supportive: Private sessions or group sessions? In person sessions or virtual sessions? Audio sessions or video sessions? Lots of structure or limited structure? It might be supportive to explore what feels good to you.
You might ask yourself: “what can I do to make my healing 2% more accessible for me?” and “what would feel supportive for my autistic self?”
3.) Trust Your Autistic Blueprint of Health.
What would it feel like to connect to your Autistic Blueprint of Health and inherent treatment plan? The Blueprint of Health is a concept that you might find supportive in your own healing. It’s this idea that everyone and thing (including trees, animals, land) has it’s own blueprint of health and healing. Just like there’s a blueprint for a house that shows us how to build it, the Blueprint of Health is unique to everyone and has it’s own inherent treatment plan of healing and health. Sometimes the Blueprint of Health might get covered up by trauma or overwhelm but it’s always there. If the framework of an Autistic Blueprint of Health doesn’t work for you, you could also frame it as your innate Autistic health, goodness or wisdom. Whatever you call it, it can be helpful to know that we all have an unique and inherent treatment plan. That could look like:
Honoring your own healing timeline means both going at a pace that works with your neurodivergent nervous system.
Trusting your Autistic experiences and needs. Perhaps a group coaching program isn’t accessible to you and that’s okay. Or maybe you find that somatic coaching or therapy doesn’t work for you because you experience Alexithymia or struggle with interoception. That’s so great that you’re aware of that! Trust your experiences and what you need.
Celebrate the health, dip into difficulty, go back to health. A fun little nervous system fact is that our nervous system likes homeostasis aka it does not enjoy big, sudden changes. So we can work with our nervous system by starting in the health, dipping into difficulty or working on something in our healing that feels a bit challenging or tender-and then going back towards the health. We want to honor our neurodivergent nervous system, work in small doable ways and celebrate the health and things that are working.
If you trusted your Autistic Blueprint of Health and your inherent healing treatment plan, how might you approach your healing?
4.) Put on an Autistic centered lens.
Image description: Over a light background there is a title written in black text that says “When it comes to healing and post traumatic growth remember to:” and then there is a graphic of a pair of heart shaped glasses with the words “put on an autistic lens.”
When I think of Autistic and AuDHDer centered healing I think of healing practices, tools and support that center our neurodivergence. In order to approach healing from an Autistic centered lens, it can be supportive to explore how we can shift in our language and beliefs around neurodiversity. Many of us have grown up hearing pathologizing language, harmful stereotypes and inaccurate information on neurodivergence. So an important part of healing as a neurodivergent person is unpacking internalized ableism and harmful language and reframing them from an Autistic lens. Some ways you might explore that are:
Reframing pathologizing language to neurodivergent affirming language. So instead of “deficit” you might use “difference, instead of “symptoms” you could use “traits” or “characteristics.”
Work with a neurodivergent affirming coach or therapist who can offer important reframes around the language you use. Sometimes it can be life changing to hear someone say something like “I see you saying that you’re bad at communication but I wonder if what you’re describing is actually that you have a different way of communication because of being Autistic. You might struggle to communicate with non-autistics but feel really comfortable communicating with Autistics. How does that land?”
Exploring beliefs that are rooted in internalized ableism. It can be helpful to identify these beliefs and then reframe them with an autistic affirming lens. This work can often be really supportive to do with a therapist or coach.
Receive neurodivergent affirming education on things like: autistic burnout, communication, sensory needs, intimacy and more. The majority of us didn’t have access to the neurodivergent education we needed growing up, so it can be really helpful to get that need met now.
Validate your experiences. This can be done by validating that your emotions, experiences and needs make so much sense and that they deeply matter. You can also experience validation through professional support, engaging with Autistic community and receiving support from loved ones.
Your Autistic healing and wellness matter so much.
Image description: There is a graphic of a purple card overlapped over a green card. The title is written in black text and reads “Remember” and the text says “By bringing an Autistic approach to our healing we can make our healing journey accessible and affirming. I know both from my personal experience and my work with clients that making our healing Autistic centered is life changing.”
By bringing an Autistic approach to our healing we can make our healing journey accessible and affirming. I know both from my personal experience and my work with clients that making our healing Autistic centered is life changing. Sometimes it’s something as simple as making a session with a professional 2% more accessible or bringing an Autistic lens to our healing work. I think deep healing happens when we ask ourselves “what does my Autistic self need for healing to be accessible, affirming and supportive?” Perhaps that’s “I need to wear headphones and I really want to focus on getting my unmet Autistic inner kid’s needs met now as an adult.” Fantastic! Or maybe it’s “I’m not quite sure what my needs are, I only know that therapy doesn’t feel accessible.” That’s also a really great thing to name, you can then bring that up with your therapist and explore together how to make therapy more accessible.
Making healing neurodivergent supportive is such a big topic and this is only a brief exploration of it. But I hope this blog post provided some insight and ideas on how you can make healing Autistic supportive, accessible and affirming. You truly deserve to experience autistic centering healing.
Thank you for reading!
I hope you enjoyed this blog post! Please feel free to share in the comments your experience of making healing autistic accessible and supportive. Want more support? I’d love to support you in my program The Autistic Mentorship.
The information contained in this blog post is for general educational and informational purposes only and should not be construed as medical or mental health advice. The information provided is not a substitute for advice from a qualified professional who is aware of the facts and circumstances of your individual situation. We expressly recommend that you seek advice from a professional familiar with your specific situation.
Tiffany Landry is a queer autistic coach and trauma resolution practitioner. She works with queer and autistic clients in her program The Autistic Mentorship and The Intro Coaching Package. Tiffany also writes a free newsletter on Substack called The Queer Autistic Newsletter.