Here’s How I Make My Autistic Health & Wellness a Priority.
Me and my cat Bella taking a sensory break.
I sometimes wish that my “I think I might be autistic” moment wasn’t because I was experiencing autistic burnout and meltdowns. But like many other late diagnosed autistics I started googling “am I autistic?” because I started to feel like what I was experiencing wasn’t quite “normal.” At the time I was helping lead a very intensive three day 6+ hour daily online retreat and I was experiencing what I now know as autistic burnout and internalized autistic meltdowns. After the retreat ended I was in such severe autistic burnout that I had trouble doing basic tasks, like walking from my bedroom to the kitchen, cooking and showering. I’m sharing this because my journey to receiving an autism diagnosis was that I was very unwell autistically speaking.
Which is why 2+ years later after my diagnosis I make my autistic health and wellbeing a top priority. My journey to my autistic wellness has included a variety of things including: autistic burnout recovery, honoring my sensory needs, stopping doing things that are disabling to me and moving to the middle of the woods. I want to share with you some of the things that I’ve done to create a life that centers my autistic wellness and health.
1.) Identifying my autistic needs & getting them met in small doable ways.
This one feels so simple and yet in the early days of realizing that I was actually autistic-I had no idea what my autistic needs were! It took educating myself about autism in adults, slowly beginning to unmask and identifying things that were hard for me. I then slowly worked on getting my autistic needs met in small doable steps. Here are some small steps that I took that created huge impacts:
When I was in autistic burnout I signed up for a prepared food subscription service. This saved me so many spoons and allowed me to eat meals when I was incredibly fatigued.
I identified that video calls created a lot of fatigue for me, were too sensory overstimulating and meant I had to mask. I stopped doing video calls with friends and I switched from doing Zoom video coaching sessions to audio phone sessions. This had a HUGE impact on my spoons and made my business accessible for me.
I got my first pair of noise cancelling headphones and they changed my life.
2.) Honoring my sensory needs.
As an autistic babe who is seriously sensory avoidant, honoring and advocating for my sensory needs had a huge impact on my autistic wellness. Here are some things I did that made life accessible for me and really improved my autistic wellness:
I started wearing noise cancelling headphones all day long-from the moment I got up until when I was ready for bed. Instead of waiting to use them when I was already feeling sensory overstimulated, I wore them all day long to protect myself from sensory pain. My headphones honestly saved my life-and have been such an important accessibility aid for me.
Advocating for my sensory needs in my relationships. This looked like wearing my headphones on dates & saying no to environments and experiences that I knew would be sensory overstimulating.
3.) The 2% rule: “How can I make this 2% easier?”
My first few years as a late diagnosed autistic I was living in a noisy city that gave me so much sensory pain and I was constantly cycling in and out of autistic burnout. Life felt so hard and my quality of life was really suffering. So I would ask myself “how can I make this 2% easier?” I found that this question led to small but doable changes that created big impacts. As an autistic coach I like to brainstorm with my clients “how can we make this 2% easier” or “how can we make this thing 2% more accessible?” Some of the tiny shifts that actually had huge impacts on my day to day life were:
Doing a maximum of 2 client sessions a day so I had plenty of time to rest and tend to my autistic health.
When I was deep in autistic burnout + depression I cut my hair to a cute bob and it made showering SO much more accessible and easier.
I discovered that private hair salons were a thing! I used to experience meltdowns post hair appointments and by going to private hair salons I was able to have autistic accessible experiences.
Getting groceries delivered so I didn’t have to experience the sensory hell of going to supermarkets.
4.) Taking Sensory and Rest Breaks.
When I was in autistic burnout I remembered thinking “Okay, I know exactly what to do to help support my autistic burnout recovery. But it feels so hard to know how to do all of those things.” So I created what I call The Breaks Tool. The Breaks Tool consists of taking 5-20 minute breaks throughout the day. There are 5 different types of breaks.
There are 5 types of different breaks: Sensory Breaks, Nervous System Breaks, Special Interest Breaks, Rest Breaks and Stim Breaks.
While I initially used different types of breaks as a way to support myself during autistic burnout, I’ve found they are an ongoing way I can support my autistic health and wellbeing. Having small doable breaks throughout my day has increased my autistic wellness in such a huge way. Different types of breaks allow me to tend to a specific autistic need in a really doable way. I regularly take Rest Breaks and Sensory Breaks throughout my day.
5.) I advocate for my communication needs.
It took unmasking for me to realize that an area I struggle with is communication and socializing. What has been really supportive is to recognize that my autistic communication needs matter and that I deserve for communication to be accessible for me. This has looked like advocating for my autistic communication needs in my relationships and friendships. This has had a huge impact and has reduced a lot of stress, confusion and anxiety. Some ways I’ve advocated for my autistic needs are:
Asking for loved ones to use tone indicators during text conversations or to share if they’re joking/using sarcasm during in person conversations.
Using autistic communication cards!
Unmasking in my own communication and realizing that I really only understand literal language-and that’s okay.
Making autistic friends and getting to be my amazing literal communicating self with them!
6.) I stopped doing things that were disabling.
As a late diagnosed autistic I had been doing things that were disabling for a LONG time and had just been dealing with the impact. A huge way I prioritized my autistic health was creating fierce autistic boundaries: I don’t do things that are disabling. While there are exceptions (such as going to the dentist or having to go to a public place to pick up a specific item), whenever possible I don’t do things that are disabling. Before doing something I like to ask myself: “what is the autistic cost of doing this thing?” Is the cost a shutdown? Is the cost sensory pain? Or is it a cost that won’t have a huge impact on me and is worth doing? For me I’m simply not willing to do something that is going to cause me sensory pain, be disabling or lead me to having an autistic shutdown or meltdown.
A few things I stopped doing that were really disabling to me:
Social media! I am currently off of social media as I’ve found it incredibly disabling to me and that it was impacting my autistic health in a negative way.
Groups! I find group disabling and the cost always seems to be a shutdown. Which is why I now don’t do group activities and prefer one on one socializing.
Our autistic health and wellbeing matter so damn much.
I hope reading some of the ways I’ve prioritized my autistic health and wellness felt supportive to you. These are just 6 ways that I’ve tended to my autistic health-I might have to write a part two to share even more ways I make my autistic health a priority. As a late diagnosed autistic I am constantly learning more about myself and how I can create a life that is autistic supportive, accessible and affirming. To me it feels like a journey of coming home to my autistic wellness, joy and unmasked self.
I hope you find small and doable ways to prioritize your autistic wellness.
I hope you make space for fun stim breaks in the middle of your day.
I hope you get lots of support as you explore how you can make life more accessible to your autistic needs.
The information contained in this blog post is for general educational and informational purposes only and should not be construed as medical or mental health advice. The information provided is not a substitute for advice from a qualified professional who is aware of the facts and circumstances of your individual situation. We expressly recommend that you seek advice from a professional familiar with your specific situation.
Your autistic healing matters.
I hope this blog post was helpful in your own autistic healing journey. I truly believe that us late diagnosed autistics deserve autistic affirming healing and I hope you have the best practitioners, tools and support for your own healing.
If you’re seeking autistic support and healing, I’d love to support you in my 5 month program The Autistic Mentorship. It includes:
An intensive intake session & healing document to identify your goals and developmental objectives that we’ll work on in our program together.
Three (75 minute) sessions a month.
Lots of support & education: think recap emails + personalized practices sent to your inbox, neurodivergent workbooks and resources and a bonus check in call to use when needed.
You can find out more about The Autistic Mentorship here.
Tiffany Landry is an autistic life coach and trauma resolution practitioner for queer & autistic clients. As a late diagnosed autistic she loves supporting autistic clients to create autistic lives that are accessible, autistic affirming and just feel good. Sign up for The Queer Autistic Newsletter here.