4 Autistic Accessible Ways to Celebrate Pride.
Image description: Over a purple background there is an image of a ticket stub with hearts on it and the following words written in black text “Accessible Pride Celebration”, “Ticket admits one” and “everyone welcome.” At the bottom of the graphic the text reads “This June Make Pride Accessible” and “Happy Pride Month.”
🎶It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year🎶 aka it’s officially Pride Month! I’ve always loved Pride and even before I came out as a lesbian in my mid-30’s I’ve always cherished Pride. My earliest memories of going to a Pride March where as a pre-teen when I marched with my very queer martial art dojo! But as an autistic adult it’s been hard to have to choose between honoring my sensory needs and wanting to celebrate my queerness. The unfortunate reality is that the majority of Pride Celebrations aren’t accessible to disabled folks. If you’re a queer Autistic or AuDHDer you might experience Pride as being largely inaccessible, whether that’s due to large crowds, environments that feel like sensory hell and/or feel socially overwhelming. Which is why it can be so supportive to celebrate Pride in ways that are accessible for your lovely autistic self and your fellow disabled kin! In this blog post I’ll share 4 Autistic accessible ways you can celebrate Pride.
Why Is It Important for Pride to be Accessible?
Image description: Over a white background there is black text with black stars. On the left side there is a rainbow half circle. The title reads “Disabled folks deserve Pride too.” Below the title are statistics that read “1 in 4 lesbian, gay and bisexual adults in the U.S. are disabled and 2 in 5 transgender adults are disabled” and “research from The Movement Advancement Project estimated that 3-5 million LGBTQ people live with one or more disability.”
The simplest reason is that Pride should be accessible and inclusive for everyone. That means that Pride celebrations need to be accessible to folks who are disabled-including disabilities such as being neurodivergent. It’s also important to know that:
1 in 4 lesbian, gay and bisexual adults in the U.S. are disabled.
2 in 5 transgender adults are disabled.
According to The Movement Advancement Project in 2019 an estimated 3-5 million LGBTQ people live with one or more disability.
Looking over these statistics perhaps a better question would be: “why is Pride still not accessible in 2024?” We know that LGBTQIA+ folks experience marginalization, discrimination as well as homophobia and transphobia. If we don’t make queer spaces and events accessible to everyone then we are in fact excluding disabled folks from these safe spaces. When we think about making Pride accessible it’s important to consider that this is a larger conversation to have with our queer community. How can we make queer spaces truly accessible and inclusive for everyone-including disabled folks?
But how exactly is Pride inaccessible to disabled folks?
Some ways that Pride celebrations and marches are inaccessible are:
Many Pride marches are inaccessible to wheelchair users or people with limited mobility. For example: uneven ground, steep inclines and long parades can make it challenging for people with limited mobility to participate.
Disabled people who are immunocompromised aren’t able to attend events where the majority of the people are unmasked. Not addressing the COVID-19 health risks in events means that these events pose a health risk to many disabled folks and therefore aren’t accessible for them.
Pride is a sensory hell for Autistics and AuDHDers due to events having loud music, flashing strobe lights and large crowds.
Other things that make Pride inaccessible are things like: non accessible entrances to events (such as stairs instead of ramps or elevators), bathrooms that aren’t ADA accessible, speakers who don’t use sign language interpreters, events that aren’t scent free.
A great way to support the queer disabled community is to talk to the Pride organizers and your local queer community about ways to make queer spaces accessible. That could look like a combination of education, advocating for disability rights and brainstorming creative solutions. Not sure where to start? You might consider hiring a disability advocate or educator to help you explore ways you can make your local queer spaces accessible.
Now let’s explore ways your lovely autistic self can celebrate Pride and make it accessible!
1.) Go to Pride But Make It Autistic Accessible!
Before going to Pride it might be supportive to ask yourself: “what would be the cost of going to Pride?” You might decide that it’s worth it to you to go to Pride even though you know it’s not going to be sensory ideal for you. Perhaps you factor in recovery time post-Pride so you can replenish the spoons you lost while at Pride. I highly suggest exploring ways you can make Pride more accessible. Some Autistic accessible ideas to make Pride more supportive are:
Use sensory aids! That could be noise cancelling headphones, earplugs or sunglasses.
Wear clothing that’s sensory supportive.
If you’re going to attend a Pride March plan out the route and identify any places where you might take a break. It might be supportive to check if the organizers have a sensory tent where you can get a break from sensory overload and rest.
Bring a Sensory Bag. A Sensory bag could include things like earplugs, stim toys, essential oils, water bottle or stuffed animal/comfort item.
Make an emergency plan. If you do get sensory overloaded or feel close to a meltdown or shutdown, what will you do? Having a plan in place will create safety.
Have a Post-Pride recovery plan all set up. Perhaps you reduce demands for 1-2 days post Pride and make time to rest.
2.) Create a Pride That’s Accessible!
Image description: Over a pink background there is a bingo with graphic images next to each text. Each box shows different accessible ways of celebrating Pride. The title on the graphic says “Accessible Pride Bingo.”
I’ve seen this in my local community and I personally love this idea! An accessible Pride could look like working with the organizers of your local Pride or you could create your own event. You might ask yourself “what would an accessible Pride look like?” Some options might be:
A small gathering at a friend’s house and adding all the things that you know would make it accessible for your autistic self-as well as for other people’s accessibility needs.
A Pride Picnic! I’ve seen this in my local community and I thought it was an amazing idea! An outside picnic or gathering in a space that’s accessible for wheelchair users and folks with limited mobility, quiet, a smaller group and a shorter amount of time.
A virtual gathering! You could create your own or attend one that someone else is gathering. If you create your own you could make sure to structure it so it’s supportive for your autistic needs and include options such as: camera on or off, only one person speaking at a time (everyone else is muted) and an organized activity, permission to leave or take breaks as needed.
3.) Celebrate Pride with Your Queer Bestie!
For many of us Autistics Pride can be inaccessible due to the large groups. Which is why it might be supportive to celebrate Pride one on one with a friend. You and your friend could decide how you might want to celebrate together. Some ideas might be:
Watching a queer movie together.
Having a Coming Out Party together!
Just spending queer time together.
Having a Queer Fashion Show!
Making Smoothies and playing The L Word Drinking Game (take a sip every time Shane flirts with someone!)
Design your own queer board games and play them together.
Advocating for a LGBTQIA+ rights and other causes you’re both passionate about. Remember that Pride is a celebration of queer resilience and resistance. Perhaps you do this by donating to a cause you’re passionate about, donate to mutual aid in Palestine, learn more about queer and trans rights or engaging in online activism.
It might be super fun to brainstorm with your friend on things you’d like to do to celebrate Pride. What would be a joyful and accessible way for both of you to celebrate Pride?
4.) Queer Joy and Pleasure.
Image description: Over a peach background there is a graphic of the word “queer” written in pink on top of a rainbow triangle. The title of the graphic reads “4 Ways to Tend to Your Queer Joy and Pleasure.” There are pink circles with text written inside in black, the text reads: “read queer books and watch queer movies”, “buy a queer sex education course”, “write a letter to your queerness”, “throw yourself a coming out party” and “take your queer inner child on a play date.”
Some people love to celebrate Pride with others but you might be excited about spending Pride by yourself. It might be supportive to spend time connecting to your queerness, queer joy and pleasure. Connecting to your queer joy and pleasure is going to look differently for everyone but a few ways you might do that are:
Reading queer books and watching queer movies.
Invest in your pleasure and sexuality by signing up for a queer sex education course, buying a new sex toy or reading some yummy erotica.
Write a letter to your queerness. If you were to write a love letter to your queerness or queer self, what would you say?
Throw yourself a coming out party! Whether you recently realized that you’re queer or have been out for decades, how would you want to celebrate your very own coming out party? Perhaps that’s buying yourself a cake, watching a fun movie or having your own dance party.
Take Your Queer Inner Child on a Play Date! Maybe you want to tend to your queer inner child and take your lovely queer inner kid out on a play date. What would your queer inner child love to do? Do that!
I hope you get to celebrate Pride this year in a way that feels accessible and good to you.
While these are just some ideas I highly encourage you to brainstorm the ways in which it would feel most supportive to celebrate Pride. Perhaps that’s attending a Pride March, making your own accessible Pride, celebrating by yourself or showing up for the queer community through activism. You might ask yourself:
What does Pride mean to me? What would feel the most supportive way to celebrate Pride Month?
What are my values around celebrating Pride? For example: maybe Pride is really sensory overstimulating for you but a big value of yours is to celebrate your queerness with others. Even though there’s a value and sensory clash you might decide that it’s worth it and focus on recovering.
What would be the most accessible and supportive way for me to celebrate Pride? Is there a healthy balance in which I can tend to both my queer and autistic needs?
I hope these questions are supportive and that you have a Pride Month that feels accessible, supported and connected to your queerness and the queer community.
Resources consulted + further reading:
Thank you for reading!
I hope you enjoyed this blog post! Please feel free to share your experience of celebrating Pride in the comments.
The information contained in this blog post is for general educational and informational purposes only and should not be construed as medical or mental health advice. The information provided is not a substitute for advice from a qualified professional who is aware of the facts and circumstances of your individual situation. We expressly recommend that you seek advice from a professional familiar with your specific situation.
Tiffany Landry is a queer autistic coach and trauma resolution practitioner. She works with queer and autistic clients in her program The Autistic Mentorship. Tiffany also writes a newsletter on Substack called The Queer Autistic Newsletter.