10 Queer Movies and Books That Give Me Queer Joy
Image description: A picture of black cat in front of a Dykes to Watch Out For book.
I was 34 years old when I looked at myself in the mirror and told myself “yup, I’m a lesbian.” But realizing I was a lesbian after decades of dating men wasn’t actually a huge shock. I had originally came out as a lesbian when I was 15-but gaslighting & trauma led me right back to the closet. But throughout the years I did tend to my closeted queer self through movies, music and books. After coming out I gave myself full permission to tend to my queer self and to meet the unmet need of feeling seen & heard in my authentic queer self.
So many of us who come out later in life can have this unmet need to be seen, head and celebrated for our authentic queer selves. It can be so healing to meet that need through queer resources-like movies, music, books and social media. The following books, movies and TV shows have felt like the sweetest homecoming for my later in life lesbian self.
1.) Annie On My Mind by Nancy Garden.
I first read Annie on My Hand as a 15 year old and it was the first queer book I had read in my life. It still holds a special space in my heart and I own my own copy as a way of honoring that my baby gay self who checked it out at the library with sweat palms. The YA novel tells the story of Liza and Annie’s friendship and eventual love as they also deal with how friends & their school view their relationship.
2.) Dykes To Watch Out For by Alison Bechdel
I first read Dykes To Watch Out For as a pre-teen while wandering through a local bookstore and I’ve been a fan ever since. You’ll love reading this comic stip that follows the lives of Mo, Lois, Sydney, Sparrow, Ginger, Stuart, Clarice, and the rest of the cast of characters. Dykes To Watch Out For was written between 1987 and 2008 and it is funny, thoughtful and touches on topics like education, politics, coming out, work and love.
3.) But I’m a Cheerleader (1999)
But I’m a Cheerleader is a film about Megan (played by Natasha Lyonne) who is a high school cheerleader who gets sent to a conversation camp to “cure” her of being a lesbian. Instead she makes friends and perhaps finds love? Delightfully hilarious and with a happy ending. I’ll confess that my baby gay self fell head over heels in love with Graham (played by Clea DuVall.)
4.) Anyone But Her By Erica Lee
Reagan has been out since she was in high school but when her gay best friend begs her to be pretend to be his girlfriend and visit his conversation family she does-and then starts to feel some very strong feelings for her friend’s hot sister. Anyone But Here is a sapphic romance is hilarious, sweet, tender and has a funny grandma :)
5.) Better Than Chocolate (1999)
Better Than Chocolate is a beautiful movie about falling in love, coming out, standing up for what you believe in-and oh yes, a sex scene where they paint each other’s bodies with chocolate!
6.) The Fate of Stars by S D Simper
When I came out later in life and was looking for amazing sapphic romances I wish someone had told me “Hey, are you interested in a sapphic romance that’s about a mermaid who falls for a butch princess?” I would have screamed YES and that is exactly what The Fate of Stars is-and bonus: it’s part of a trilogy!
7.) Imagine Me & You (2005)
Imagine Me & You tells the story of Rachel (Piper Perabo) who does a double take when she sees Luce (Lena Headey) AS she’s walking down the aisle to get married. This is a romantic comedy about coming out and it has a happy ending!
8.) Would You Rather by Katie Heaney
In Would You Rather Katie shares essays on coming out later in life, dating women for the first time and learning to accept herself. This was one of the first memoirs I read when I realized that I “might” be a lesbian and I found it so deeply supportive.
9.) Drive Here and Devastate Me by Megan Falley
Drive Here and Devastate Me is a beautiful poetry collection on queerness, love, politics, body image and more. I particularly felt so deeply seen in her poem Coming Out (and Being Pushed Back In) is a beautiful poem on being femme and constantly read as straight.
10.) A League Of Their Own (2022)
If you’re queer and haven’t seen A League of Their Own (2022) please stop reading this and start watching it as soon as possible! Watching A League of Their Own felt like the most delicious representation of queerness ever. There’s baseball, SO MUCH delicious queerness, the most amazing presentation, as well as great acting AND writing.
Bonus mentions:
Drive by Melissa Ferrick. This song is just everything.
The L Word. Is it problematic and full of drama? Hell, yes. Was it also the first lesbian show many of us saw on TV? Also yes.
Lesbian Fashion Struggles by Caroline Earleywine. I loved this collection of poetry on being femme, queer and presumed straight in Arkansas.
You Better Be Lightning by Andrea Gibson. Andrea Gibson is an incredible poet and both You Better Be Lightning and Lord of The Butterflies are incredibly beautiful collections of poetry.
Persistence: All Ways Butch and Femme edited by Ivan Coyote and Zena Sharman. As a femme lesbian I loved reading these essays on what it means to be butch and femme in today’s society.
The Care We Dream Of: Liberatory and Transformative Approaches to LGBTQ+ Health edited by Zena Sherman. I found this book such a powerful & important conversation on LGBTQIA+ health and wellness.
For more of my favorite sapphic movies & romances, check them out here.
Note: This is not an affiliated post and the links provided are so you can read a bit more about the specific movie or book. Please strive to support your local bookstores!