What a Social Media Break Has Done For My Autistic Health.
Image description: a photo of a wooden table with a small cup of coffee, a plate and an iPhone. On the phone there are the words “Social” and they show different icons of social media and social sharing apps.
I’m four months into my six month social media break (aka I’m not on Instagram, TikTok or Facebook) and life feels so incredibly amazing. I’m not constantly overstimulated and socially overwhelmed by different social media apps and my life feels quiet, slow and resourced. Instead of a break, it just feels like a way of life-like exactly what I need to feel good. I decided to take a break from social media because I had been noticing for a few years that social media was actually really not good for my autistic health. As someone who has used social media to build a brand and market for my coaching business it felt both scary and also very essential to take a social media break. To put my autistic health and wellbeing first. In this blog post I’m going to share why I decided to take a break from social media, how I went about it and the benefits of being off of social media.
My history with social media.
Like many people my age I didn’t grow up with social media. In fact, since I grew up in a small rural town and with a farmer mother I didn’t really grow up with TV. Instead I grew up reading books, playing with my best friend and roaming the surrounding woods. When I moved to Spain in my early teens I remember having to actually TALK to people when I got lost because I didn’t have a cellphone. When social media became a thing I used it like many other people did: posting my favorite books, sharing what was going on in my life, probably way too many photos of my adorable cats.
But when I became a coach it became clear that social media could be a tool for marketing my coaching programs. So I began to post regularly, to market my services and I also shared my personal journey of coming out later in life and being diagnosed with autism later in life. For awhile social media felt so incredibly fun, affirming and it gave me access to the queer and nuerodivergent communities.
But I noticed that social media was really negatively impacting my autistic health and wellbeing.
Making the decision to take a break from social media was so hard because I could see both the ways in which social media worked for me and ways in which it really negatively impacted me.
Social media has been really supportive in the sense that:
I found community after coming out later in life. Seeing others who were also coming out later in life (plus finding my way onto #lesbiantiktok) was so healing and validating.
Social media felt like a soothing balm when I realized I was autistic later in life.I learned tips, education and also accessed an amazing neurodivergent community.
On a very practice note: I grew my business brand and nearly all of my clients have come from social media (the majority from TikTok.) I’ve been so grateful for being able to work with such amazing clients all thanks to social media. It’s also been really lovely to see the impact I’ve had when followers message me and share how my content has helped them. Plus Fletcher liked one of my TikToks once and that was pretty cool.
But social media is also really not good for me in a lot of very real ways. A few ways that social media is harmful to me and my autistic health are:
It is sensory overstimulating for me-specifically I find social media incredibly visually overstimulating. It is really common for me to get sensory overloaded after being on social media.
Social media does not support my autistic needs. I personally find groups incredibly disabling for me and social media to me feels like I’m in the middle of a huge and noisy crowd-which is incredibly overwhelming. Even after just posting a simple “Hey, I’m taking a break from social media-here’s how to connect with me off of social media” on Instagram I now feel incredibly overwhelmed.
Social media feels too social for me. It has taken a lot of unmasking to realize that I actually struggle with communication and I frequently find that socializing on social media (such as responding to comments, answering messages, trying to decipher non literal language) is confusing and uses up too many spoons.
While I enjoy making content, I don’t particularly enjoy that there’s not a lot of space for depth on social media content (specifically on Instagram and TikTok.) To me this feels like small talk versus conversations with depth-I truly desire to make content with more spaciousness and depth.
Social media does not support my autistic wellness, it’s disabling and sucks away my spoons-which means that I don’t have as much capacity to do things that I really enjoy.
How I decided to take a break from social media.
I decided to take a break from social media as a way to prioritize my autistic wellness and to protect my limited spoons. My social media break also corresponded with moving to the country and being newly single-there were a lot of really healthy changes happening! What I’m most proud of is putting my autistic needs first and giving myself permission to have a break and see how my life might look if I wasn’t constantly overwhelmed by social media.
It’s important to note that I had attempted to be largely off of social media by placing specific boundaries on my social media usage. So I had explored logging in to Instagram to share a post and then logging out and deleting the app. But it honestly still was negatively impacting my health-which is why I decided that I needed a clear break.
What I did to take a social media break.
I announced on Instagram that I was taking a 6 month social media break and I shared how they could keep in touch with me (via my website and my newsletter.) I then logged out of Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and deleted the apps or removed the websites from my phone and computer.
Detoxing from social media:
It was so interesting to notice my behavior and impulses the first weeks off of social media. While I felt a lot of relief, I also noticed how much social media had been an easy distraction in my daily life. I remember noticing how it was such a habit to reach for my phone when I felt bored, under stimulated or upset. Being off on social media I instead turned to things like books, nature, being present or connecting to someone. It has been really healing to be present instead of having social media provide a lot of distraction or numbing.
I also initially noticed a loneliness since I had previously gotten a lot of my social needs met from social media (even though the social aspect of social media has always been way too overwhelming for me.) I allowed myself to feel the loneliness and to explore ways I could get my social needs met in accessible ways for my autistic self.
The benefits of being off of social media:
The main benefits of being off of social media are that I gained so much life quality just by not being overstimulated and overwhelmed. Since I had been previously been marketing on social media 2-5 days a week, taking away that much overstimulation felt life life changing. I noticed a huge impact in my autistic health and it felt like I had gained so much spoons back.
Another lovely benefit was that being off of social media allowed me the slowness and depth that I had been craving. Since being off of social media corresponded with moving to the country I was able to really start living a slow and more resourced life.
What about marketing your business off of social media?
I’ve been focusing on the SEO of my website as well as publishing my newsletter The Queer Autistic Newsletter on substack. I’ve had new clients find me both through social media (my accounts are still up even though I’m not currently on social media) and by searching through Google and online.
I have recently experimented with pinning blog posts on Pinterest which I guess technically is social media. But I haven’t been engaging with the Pinterest website in any other way.
I’m currently asking myself: “what are some doable and fun ways to market off of social media?” and “what do slow business practices look like?”
Is a social media break right for you?
We all have different experiences with social media. For some of us it can feel very overstimulating and for others it feels very supportive and fun. If you would like to explore a life off of social media, I suggest asking yourself:
What is the impact of social media on my life and health?
What feels good about social media? What doesn’t feel good?
How long would feel good to explore being off of social media?
What are the practical steps to taking a break off of social media?
Thank you for reading!
I hope this blog post felt supportive. If you’re exploring a break from social media-please feel free to share any reflections in the comments.
The information contained in this blog post is for general educational and informational purposes only and should not be construed as medical or mental health advice. The information provided is not a substitute for advice from a qualified professional who is aware of the facts and circumstances of your individual situation. We expressly recommend that you seek advice from a professional familiar with your specific situation.
Your autistic healing matters.
I hope this blog post was helpful in your own autistic healing journey. I truly believe that us late diagnosed autistics deserve autistic affirming healing and I hope you have the best practitioners, tools and support for your own healing.
If you’re seeking autistic support and healing, I’d love to support you in my 5 month program The Autistic Mentorship. It includes:
An intensive intake session & healing document to identify your goals and developmental objectives that we’ll work on in our program together.
Three (75 minute) sessions a month.
Lots of support & education: think recap emails + personalized practices sent to your inbox, neurodivergent workbooks and resources and a bonus check in call to use when needed.
You can find out more about The Autistic Mentorship here.
Tiffany Landry is a queer autistic coach and trauma resolution practitioner. She works with queer and autistic clients in her program The Autistic Mentorship. Tiffany also writes a newsletter on Substack called The Queer Autistic Newsletter.