There is a pink background with graphics of pink clouds. Inside a white box and written in pink text the title reads "Choose Your Autistic Burnout Recovery Plan." — Image description: There is a graphic with video game inspired text that reads “Choose Your Autistic Burnout Recovery Plan” with pictures of clouds over a pink background.

When I was newly diagnosed and deep in the fiery Hell of Autistic burnout I was so desperate to get out of it that I forgot to ask myself: “what does my burnt out self need?” In the early days of Autistic burnout there was so much I didn’t know, such as what the hell Autistic burnout even was never mind how to recover from it. But one of the bright sides of spending a few years looping in and out of Autistic burnout was that I began to treat it with curiosity, care and kindness. I started tracking my burnout triggers, I started making Autistic burnout protocols that I would do at the first sight of burnout and I started asking myself “what would be the kindest thing to my Autistic Burnout right now?”

While I’ve been out of Autistic Burnout for awhile now, the majority of my clients in my program The Autistic Mentorship are in Autistic burnout when we start working together. I always like to validate that being in Autistic burnout after realizing that you’re neurodivergent later in life makes so much sense. I personally like to think of Autistic burnout as a way our body is declaring a State of Emergency. But while it can be helpful to validate that being in Autistic burnout actually makes a lot of sense, what is the best way to approach our Autistic burnout recovery? It might be helpful to view Autistic burnout recovery as three levels:

Level 1: Practical support. This level is for when you’re in the early stages of Autistic burnout recovery and are very much in an emergency. This could look like practical things such as: resting, doing the bare minimum, getting support, doing Autistic Breaks, tending to your sensory needs and more.

Level 2: Deep work. Deep work is Autistic centered healing on things like unpacking shame and internalized ableism, healing Autistic trauma, processing emotions around a later in life diagnosis and rebuilding self trust. We ideally do this work when we’re no longer in an emergency and when there’s capacity to do this deeper work.

Level 3: Designing an Autistic affirming and accessible life. In order to prevent looping in and out of Autistic burnout it’s important that we make real changes which will look different for everyone. That could look like advocating for your autistic needs, making an important change (such as your job or living situation) and setting up systems that will support you as an Autistic person.

In this blog post I’m going to share tips and advice on how you can choose what is the most supportive Autistic burnout recovery plan for you. You might think of it as asking yourself “what would be the most healing medicine for my autistic burnt out self?” or “what would be the most supportive path for my autistic burnt out self?” I’ll guide you through small and doable ways you can both identify the best recovery path for you right now and small doable steps you can begin to take.

Choose Your Autistic Burnout Recovery Level.

Before we can know how to approach out Autistic burnout recovery we need to identify where we’re starting at. Just like completing any task, we need to know what we’re starting with so we can then create a plan. But in order to honor your Autistic burnout let’s keep things super simple and have you answer these questions.

Are you deep in Autistic burnout? Maybe you describe your Autistic burnout as “severe” or “extra spicy.” Perhaps you feel like you’re in a State of Emergency and have been there for some time. You feel fatigued, you’re even more sensitive to sensory information and you feel like you’re operating on negative spoons. Your level is Level 1: Practical support.
Have you recovered a bit from Autistic burnout? Are you noticing that while you’re still in Autistic burnout there’s a bit more capacity in your system? Maybe you’re realizing that it’s challenging to advocate for your needs because of unprocessed shame and internalized ableism? Perhaps you have practical systems in place but are desiring some deeper healing to support your recovery? Your level is Level 2: Deep work.
Maybe you’ve recovered from Autistic burnout, have practical support and systems in place or maybe just want to prevent looping in and out of Autistic burnout. It might be time to create long term changes and design a life that’s autistic accessible, affirming and supportive. Your level is Level 3: Design an Autistic Accessible Life.

Some nuance: It’s important to add that this is just one approach to autistic burnout recovery and there’s nuance here. You might combine various levels (such as Practical Support + Designing an Autistic Accessible Life), you might spend the majority of your recovery on Level 1 or maybe you absolutely hate the framework of levels. This approach is a way to create the guesswork out of what to do for your Autistic burnout recovery but ultimately everyone is different. Full permission to do what feels most healing and supportive for you and your specific burnt out self.

Level 1: Practical Autistic Support.

Over a pink and white checkered background there are two purple boxes. The title reds "What does your burnt out self need?" The center box reads "I need practical support" a computer mouse is clicking the box "start." — Image description: Over a purple background with three pinks hearts there is a title written in white text: “What does your burnt out self need?” Over a pink and white checkered background there is a purple computer box with the text “I need practical support.” There are two computer looking red boxes that read “start” and “cancel.” The computer mouse is hovered over “start.”

For the majority of folks in Autistic burnout we start with tending to the practical needs. I like to think of this first stage of Autistic burnout recovery as having two purposes: 1.) we want life to begin to feel a little bit easier and 2.) we want to set up systems that will support our recovery from Autistic burnout. Think of practical support as doable ways we can tend to our autistic burnout needs. Here are some practical things you might focus on. I suggest exploring 1-3 of these options and noticing how they feel.

Rest and restorative activities. When you’re recovering from Autistic burnout a good rule is to rest as much as possible-and then to rest some more. Ideally we’re getting restorative sleep (but if not, check out this post) but rest can also mean: reading favorite books/watching favorite shows, restorative yoga, co-regulating with nature or a pet, rest breaks and more. I suggest making a list of different things that are restorative and restful for you.
Tend to your sensory needs. In Autistic burnout you’re likely extremely sensitive to sensory information so it’s really important to support your sensory needs. Wear sensory aids as much as possible, take sensory breaks, limit things that are sensory overstimulating. Tip: Identify your sensory triggers and sensory soothers. Just like you want to limit your sensory triggers, it’s also important to make time for sensory soothers.
Reduce demands aka “saving those precious spoons🥄.” A great way we can support our limited capacity is to reduce demands. That could look like letting your friends know that you won’t be able to text for awhile, getting outside help with things that are hard right now (like cleaning, cooking, laundry.) Ask yourself: “Can I make this thing 2% easier?” and brainstorm ways you can reduce demands. Examples might be: subscribing to a prepared foods plan, having a friend help you do laundry, getting groceries delivered.
Do the bare minimum. Now is the perfect time to share those Autistic boundaries, to give yourself permission to do less and to not go above and beyond. It’s important to remember that this isn’t for forever, it’s just a way to support your burnout recovery. That could look like not taking on extra responsibilities at work, doing a “good enough" job at cleaning or knowing that you’re not going to be the best parent/partner/friend right now-and that’s okay.
Take Autistic breaks. This is my favorite way of getting my Autistic needs met-both when I’ve been in Autistic burnout but also just doing my non-burnt out regular life. Autistic breaks are 5-15 minute breaks spread out throughout your day. They can be sensory breaks, rest breaks, stim breaks or special interest breaks.
Create systems that support you. This could look like creating morning and evening routines, having shutdown and meltdown recovery plans, rotating safe foods during meals to cut down on decisions and having before and after routines before you have to do something that you know isn’t accessible.

Over a pink background there is a white box with pink text that reads "Tip number two: Get your Autistic needs met through Autistic breaks." There are four graphics of Autistic adults taking Autistic breaks. — Image description: Over a pink background there is a white box with text written in pink text that says “Tip number two: Get your Autistic needs met through Autistic breaks.” There are four graphics of a woman stimming, a woman sleeping in bed, a man reading and a woman wearing headphones and stimming.

Level 2: Deep Support.

I truly believe that Autistic affirming healing is an important part of Autistic burnout recovery. For instance, it can feel challenging or scary to advocate for our Autistic needs if we have unprocessed shame, internalized ableism or trauma. When is the right moment for deep work in our Autistic burnout recovery? The not so fun answer is: it depends. For some Autistics it’s going to be essential to build up some capacity through practical support before it’s possible to do deeper work. However, with others doing deep work will support someone being able to put those practical support into practice. The most important thing we can do to see if deep work would be supportive is to pay attention to our neurodivergent nervous systems. That could look like mapping out your nervous system, identifying your level of capacity and honoring the pacing that feels most supportive to you.

Deep work is best done with a trauma informed Autistic affirming therapist or coach. It’s important to work with your nervous system and that means taking small doable steps. When working with a trusted and Autistic affirming practitioner we might choose to work with one or several of the following topics:

Unpacking and healing shame and internalized ableism. This could look like unpacking the stories and beliefs you’ve internalized, as well as creating new neurodivergent affirming beliefs.
Healing Autistic trauma. It can be incredibly supportive to have a safe and trauma informed space to process and heal from Autistic trauma.
Nervous system support. A somatic therapist or coach can support you in mapping your nervous system and tending to trauma responses. Are you in a deep freeze? You might begin to explore small doable ways to to begin to thaw out your freeze.
Identifying your Autistic boundaries and sharing them with others. That might also look like repairing past boundary violations.
Traumatic Invalidation. If you’ve experienced invalidation around your neurodivergence it might be really supportive to slowly work on building self trust.

Over a pink background there is a white box with pink text that reads “Tip number 3: Honor your Autistic boundaries.” There are four graphics that show examples of Autistic boundaries. — Image description: Over a pink background there is a white box with pink text that reads “Tip number 3: Honor your Autistic boundaries.” There are four graphics that show a woman with a sign that says “no” and a palm outstretched, a cell phone with text on the screen that says “power off”, a green graphic that says “sensory sensitive” in white text and a graphic with arrows and the text “please do not change my plans.”

We sometimes see this deep type of healing as hard, challenging and difficult-and it can be. But what it we approach deep work while cooperating with our body, unique timing and capacity? That could look like taking small doable steps and honoring the small and steady shifts. Or perhaps taking breaks and noticing what is working without bypassing the very real challenges. In my work as a trauma resolution coach I see again and again that healing can feel doable and supportive when we honor what our nervous system needs and has capacity for.

Level 3: Designing an Autistic affirming life.

The best way to recover from Autistic burnout and to prevent future burnouts? Creating a life that’s Autistic affirming, accessible and supportive. I like to think of designing an Autistic affirming life as creating the right conditions for you to thrive. When I was newly diagnosed and struggling with chronic sensory overstimulation my Autistic coach at the time told me something that has struck with me ever since: “Environments make or break Autistics.” It is so true! So designing an Autistic affirming life is about creating ideal or good enough environments where we can thrive.

But what if there are very real obstacles to creating a life that accessible, affirming and supportive? Perhaps your job isn’t accessible to you and it’s not possible to quit because it provides the financial resources to pay your bills. Or maybe your ideal environment is living alone but you have a partner and kids that you love. What do you do? We create good enough conditions. That could look like:

Exploring ways you can make your environment 2% more accessible. Can you add in some accommodations or sensory aids? Can you share 1-2 of your Autistic needs with the people in your life?
Can you find a temporary bandage 🩹 for a specific challenge? Just like a band aid stops the bleeding (aka tends to the emergency), can you find a temporary solution that would provide a bit of relief?
Can you focus on what’s doable right now and remind yourself that it’s not forever? As an example, let’s say that your job gives your frequent meltdowns. Can you find 1-3 ways that you might support yourself in this inaccessible environment and know that perhaps when you have more capacity you might make a more permanent life change?

It might be helpful to make a list of categories and have you explore a few ways in which you can make your life a bit more accessible and affirming. Remember that change can feel really awful to our Autistic selves so it’s really important to make small and doable changes, while honoring our capacity and natural pacing. A first step might be just to identify 1-3 ways you can create more support and accessibility in the areas of :

Sensory. What are some sensory accommodations that will make your environment more supportive?
Communication. What are your communication needs and preferences? Can you identify 1-3 ways you might begin to advocate for your communication needs?
Work. What are some ways work can be more accessible? That might look like using sensory aid, working with your neurodivergent brain or asking for accommodations in the workplace.
Relationships & sex. What would make your relationships (both romantic, platonic and familiar) more supportive? Are there some things you can share with the people in your life to create more support? What are your sexual accessibility needs?
Home. How can you make your home an Autistic safe haven? This could look like making your home more sensory safe, having specific routines (such as when you transition from work to home) and advocating for your needs with others you share your home with.

There is a pink graphic with the title "What are 1-3 ways I can make my life Autistic accessible? Pick 2-3 areas to focus on." The areas are: sensory, routines and structure, communication, work, relationships and sex, home. — Image description: Over a pink background are six white squares with small graphics and text that read: “sensory”, “routines and structure”, “communication”, “work”, “relationships and sex” and “home.” The title and subtitle are written in pink text and say “What are 1-3 ways I can make my life Autistic accessible? Pick 2-3 areas to focus on.”

The unfortunate truth: Autistic burnout recovery takes time.

I wish I had a magic wand and could say the magical words to take away your Autistic burnout. The unfortunate truth is that recovering from Autistic burnout takes time and everyone’s recovery is going to look different. But I hope that this blog post gave you some insight into a potential path of what Artistic burnout recovery can look like. As an Autistic coach who works with many clients in Autistic burnout I always like to ask “what does your Autistic burnout look like for you?” What I’m really wanting to know is: “what does your burnt out self need?” and I then offer some doable ways to get those needs met.

Can you get curious about what might be the kindest or most supportive care that your burnt out self could receive? Perhaps the most kindest thing would be to take six months off of work and to reduce all social demands. That might not actually be possible but sometimes it can be healing to just give yourself 5 minutes to imagine the possibility of six months of complete rest. Then you might pay attention to that desire and explore a doable way to get the need or rest and reduced social demands met. Maybe that’s three rest breaks a day and letting your friends know that you’re in burnout and will need a break from texting for awhile.

I hope you can take small doable steps and receive the care that your Autistic burnt out self needs. If you’re seeking more support on Autistic burnout you might enjoy these resources:

The Autistic Burnout Recovery is a 52 page fillable workbook on Autistic burnout recovery. You can learn more about it here.
5 Kind Things to Do For Your Autistic Burnout.
Here are 3 Things You Need to Know About Autistic Burnout Recovery.

Thank you for reading!

I hope this blog post was supportive in your autistic burnout recovery journey. If you’d like to share a bit about your own experience with autistic burnout-please feel free to share in the comments.

The information contained in this blog post is for general educational and informational purposes only and should not be construed as medical or mental health advice. The information provided is not a substitute for advice from a qualified professional who is aware of the facts and circumstances of your individual situation. We expressly recommend that you seek advice from a professional familiar with your specific situation.

Your autistic healing matters.

I hope this blog post was helpful in your own autistic healing journey. I truly believe that us late diagnosed autistics deserve autistic affirming healing and I hope you have the best practitioners, tools and support for your own healing.

If you’re seeking autistic support and healing, I’d love to support you in my 5 month program The Autistic Mentorship. It includes:

An intensive intake session & healing map to identify your goals and developmental objectives that we’ll work on in our program together.
Three (75 minute) sessions a month.
Lots of support & education: think recap emails + personalized practices sent to your inbox, neurodivergent workbooks and resources and two optional 30 minute check-in calls.

You can find out more about The Autistic Mentorship here.

Tiffany Landry is a queer autistic coach and trauma resolution practitioner. She works with queer and autistic clients in her program The Autistic Mentorship. Tiffany also writes a free newsletter on Substack called The Queer Autistic Newsletter.