A Slow Living Approach to Healing.
I grew up in a small rural town in Western Massachusetts where there was one stop light, one grocery store and one school. It was so small that I once wrote a letter to my mom and just addressed it to “Mom” and it still got sent to her. Days were spent outside playing make believe games in the woods, biking on the road to the local corner store and reading. I am forever grateful for largely growing up without TV as books became my main source of entertainment and joy. Even though my childhood was really hard due to experiencing childhood trauma and growing up as an undiagnosed autistic kid, I’m so grateful for the foundation of slowness, being connected to nature and largely disconnected from technology (at least until Internet arrived in the mid 90’s.)
Just me living my best slow living life-with a cute baby goat!
Image description: In the photo Tiffany is wearing a pink winter jacket and she is holding a black baby goat with grey ears. Tiffany is a white woman with brown hair and glasses, she is smiling at the camera.
I’m now in my late 30’s and I live in my own sweet house in the middle of the woods about 30 minutes from where I grew up. It’s been so healing to watch my whole body slow down and the benefits of embracing a slow lifestyle. My whole body is reminding myself that it’s okay to go slow. As I’ve been exploring slow living I’ve been reminded how a slow approach to healing is also so important. In this blog post I’ll share a bit about what slow living is and how a slow approach to healing can be so beneficial.
What is slow living?
Slow living is a mindset where you create a meaningful and intentional lifestyle that’s focused on what you value in life. Slow living doesn’t mean that your pace is always slow-it’s actually more about balance and choosing the right speed. In a culture that prioritizes going fast and consuming-slow living is about slowing down, honoring the different paces you need for specific activities and making things that you care about a priority.
Perhaps it’s the coach in me but slow living reminds me so much of trauma informed healing. I’ve seen again and again how people can bring a fast speed approach to healing, wanting to rush in their healing or chasing programs and teachers that offer fast results or “rapid transformation.” But I’ve experienced both in my personal life and through my private coaching programs that the miracle happens when we honor our own unique pacing and healing timeline. Here are four ways we can bring a slow approach to healing.
Image description: Over a pink background a title reads “4 Ways to Bring a Slow Approach to Healing.” There is black text written over 4 colored boxes. The text reads: “honor your healing timeline”, “aim for small doable steps”, “amplify your health” and “celebrate what is working.” At the bottom of the graphic is the website www.tiffany-landry.com
1.) Honor your own unique healing timeline.
Honoring your own unique healing timeline is ultimately about honoring your healing pacing, rhythms and having so much trust in your own healing. Sometimes it’s hard when we want so desperately to heal now and that can sometimes translate to wanting a rapid “fix” or to start by focusing on the “bloom” (or specific result) without tending to the roots or foundation. But the reality is that healing takes times and everyone has their own unique timeline.
What would it look like to trust your own rhythms and pacing in your healing? That might look like trusting in your healing and focusing on the journey instead of a specific end result. Often it can look like starting slow and creating a steady foundation so there’s enough capacity for deeper work. For example: if you’re desiring to work on your sexuality, the most loving thing might be to start with building a steady foundation of tending to your worthiness, doing trauma resolution and boundary repair work. After all we don’t plant a seed and expect it to bloom the next day. Instead we water it, tend to soil and trust in it’s right timing to bloom. What would it be like to give yourself permission to tend to your own soil and to trust in your own right timing to bloom and heal?
2.) Aim for small doable steps.
A lot of messages from the coaching industry promises rapid results and fast transformation. Cathartic practices. Big steps and an all or nothing approach. But the reality is that our nervous systems are wired for homeostasis and they don’t like dramatic change-this is especially true for those of us who are neurodivergent and have more sensitive nervous systems. So when we want to move from trauma to health and resiliency it’s actually more effective, sustainable and kinder to ourselves to take small doable steps. This doesn’t mean that we always need to go slow but it’s about finding the minimum effective dosage-and seeing how that small doable step lands in your system.
Especially if we have a sensitive nervous system going too fast, too soon and too much can send us out of our window of tolerance and into hyper or hypo arousal. Which is why working with an attuned practitioner (such as a coach or therapist) and aiming for a minimum effective dosage both in and out of session can be incredibly supportive. You might think of the minimum effective dosage as the “sweet spot” where an exercise or practice feels doable but there’s a bit of a stretch so you can experience growth and healing.
My teacher Rachael Maddox likes to say that “doable does the damn thing” and it truly does. Small steady steps lead to big shifts and new ways of being. A slow and trauma informed approach to healing is focusing on doability while noticing and honoring your body’s capacity.
3.) Amplify your health.
I love the slow living because at it’s core it allows me to live a life that’s deeply resourcing and supportive to my health. As a trauma resolution practitioner I know that resourcing and amplifying our health is a vital part to healing. Amplifying your health is about creating a wide base of support to support you in your daily life, as well as in challenging times. It’s about creating a steady foundation of health, supportive rhythms and care. This could look like:
Cultivating steady routines that support your neurodivergent health and wellness.
Making a list of things that feel deeply supportive and nourishing and choosing 1-2 things to do a day. I learned this practice from my teacher Rachael Maddox (she calls it a Whole Body Exhale List) and it truly is so supportive.
5-15 minute breaks throughout your day to tend to your wellness. As an autistic person I love taking sensory or rest breaks throughout my day to tend to my autistic health.
Co-regulating with humans, nature or pets.
What would it look like to make amplifying your health a key part of your healing?
4.) Celebrate what IS working.
Often when we’re struggling or experiencing a lot of stress there can be tendency to focus on what isn’t working. Which is why it can be so healing to have a friend, loved one or trained practitioner to name what IS working, what small steps have happened, what subtle shifts they’re seeing. It’s so important to do this without bypassing the difficulty or challenging emotions that are coming up. This is a key part of slow healing because we’re noticing what there is to celebrate, what is working, the ways in which you’re growing. Think of it like building a house (something I personally just experienced!) Instead of just celebrating when the house is all the way finished you’re celebrating, naming and noticing all the small steps that lead up to that finished home. You’re noticing the foundation, the plumbing and electricity, the walls, the flooring-because all of these things are key parts of your house. Your healing is like that too.
Some examples of celebrating what is working without bypassing the difficulty are:
You might tell yourself: “Wow, this is so upsetting and I don’t want to minimize it. But I also want to appreciate the way I’m clearly sharing my boundaries. I wouldn’t have been able to do that a year ago and I want to celebrate that.”
A coach or therapist might reflect to you: “I really hear your anger and it makes so much sense. I also really want to celebrate how in touch you are with your anger-that feels really powerful to me. I’m curious how it feels to hear me say that to you?”
A friend might say: “This is such a hard situation but I also really want to share that I think it’s so amazing how you’re holding yourself through this. You’re really showing up for yourself in such a caring way.”
What are some things you might like to celebrate from your own life and healing?
Slow healing is trauma informed goodness.
When I first started thinking about a slow approach to healing I realized that trauma resolution coaching truly has such a slow approach. As a certified ReBloom coach I was trained in a method that prioritized consent and cooperation, attunement, debility and trust-as well as many other trauma informed skills. I truly believe that healing needs to be both rooted in consent and working with our nervous system. Especially when we’re neurodivergent and have a more sensitive nervous system, it’s so important to have someone who is attuned, trauma informed and honors our unique pacing, cavity and innate wisdom.
My program Slow is about a slow approach to healing and I’d love to invite you to apply to the program. It consists of:
A 90 minute Intake Session + Coaching Objectives document created just for you.
Two 90 minutes sessions a month. I personally love giving 90 minutes sessions as there’s so much space for healing at a slower pace.
One 30 minute check in session a month. You can use this session to share updates, reflections or to receive some coaching and support on the topic of your choice.
A final 90 minute Celebration Session at the end of the program. You deserve to be celebrate for all the small and big shifts you’ve made during our time working together.
Bonuses include: Free access to The ReBloom Starter Pack (valued at $150) and a bonus 90 minute call with me to use anytime during the program (valued at $240.)
Head here to learn more about Slow and send in a coaching application. If it feels like a good fit I’ll reach out to you via email.
Resources mentioned and/or consulted from this blog post:
ReBloom by Rachael Maddox
Thank you for reading!
I hope this blog post was supportive. If you’d like to share a bit about your own experience with slow healing-please feel free to share in the comments.
The information contained in this blog post is for general educational and informational purposes only and should not be construed as medical or mental health advice. The information provided is not a substitute for advice from a qualified professional who is aware of the facts and circumstances of your individual situation. We expressly recommend that you seek advice from a professional familiar with your specific situation.
Tiffany Landry is a queer autistic coach and trauma resolution practitioner. She works with queer and autistic clients in her programs Slow and The Autistic Mentorship. Tiffany also writes a newsletter on Substack called The Queer Autistic Newsletter.