Yesterday I was getting ready to sit down and work when I noticed that my cute neighbor Bob was paying me a visit. Bob is a porcupine who really likes to munch my clover lawn and is pretty darn cute. After sitting and watching him eat my lawn I quietly stepped out on my back deck to take some pictures of him. Unfortunately I wasn't quiet enough and I see him pause to listen and then immediately go into a freeze response. Sorry, Bob! Don’t worry I immediately went back inside my home and watched how he came out of his freeze and slowly wandered over to my compost pile. I love that Bob’s neuroception sized up the threat and knew that freeze would be the right freeze response. I’m sharing this story because Bob The Porcupine going into freeze was wise and intelligent-and you going into a freeze response is also incredibly wise, intelligent and makes perfect sense.

In this blog I’m going to share a bit of education on why we go into freeze responses and how we can slowly begin to thaw out our freeze responses.

A little education on the nervous system.

The Autonomic Nervous System is responsible for automatic bodily functions (digestion, heart rate, respiratory rate…), your embodied trauma or emergency responses (fight, flight, freeze…), social engagement with others and how your senses take in information. Within our amazing Autonomic Nervous System we have the capacity to utilize our neuroception-which is how your nervous system automatically and unconsciously sizes up a threat and then chooses the most effective embodied emergency response (also known as trauma responses) for the threat. Let’s take a look at some of the embodied emergency responses that we can experience:

Hyper-Arousal Responses are activated through the Sympathetic Nervous System and happen when the body detects that it can win against a real or perceived threat. These responses are: hypersocialization, hypervigilence, fight, flight and flock.

Hypo-Arousal Responses are activated through the Parasympathetic Nervous System and happen when the body detects that it can’t win against a real or perceived treat. This is what we know as a freeze response.

Different levels of freeze.

There are different levels of freeze that we might experience. In the somatic trauma resolution methodology Alchemical Alignment Brigit Viksnins describes the different levels of freeze with animals. Here are the first three levels of freeze:

Owl: The owl level of freeze can refer to a functional freeze or a freeze that is in a state of camouflage, blending in or not noticeable.

Deer: The deer level of freeze is a freeze response mixed with a flight or fight underneath the freeze. Example: Although the deer is in a state of freeze, it’s body it actually ready to bolt.

Possum: The possum level of freeze is about “playing dead”, dissocation, feeling numb, little ability to feel sensations.

Other levels of freeze can include: deep freeze, depression and shame. Deep freeze happens when hyperarousal and sympathetic nervous system responses are deeply exhausted due to a prolonged exposure to a threat or violation. You can experience deep freeze in one or many areas of your life.

What if your freeze response actually makes sense?

Something that can be incredibly helpful when we’ve identified that we’re experiencing a specific trauma response is to make it make sense. That could look like validating that being in a freeze makes so much sense based on the context, the size of the threat, what you know about your nervous system. Validating that it makes sense doesn’t mean that we have to like being in a freeze or even that we want to be here forever. But it can be so healing to pause and just name “being in a freeze response makes so much sense.” Perhaps that’s identifying the both/and of “my nervous system is so wise and intelligent and I want to take small doable steps so I can begin to thaw my freeze response.”

A few ways you might support yourself in making your freeze make sense are:

1. Validating that your freeze makes a lot of sense.

2. Learning about working with freeze through nervous system education.

3. Working with a trauma knowledgeable coach or therapist and having them validate that your freeze makes a lot of sense.

How do I thaw my freeze?

When we’re working with trauma it can be so supportive to have a map or order of operations to guide us in our healing process. We can begin to thaw freeze by creating safe enough conditions to thaw, mobilize, relate and then relate and digest. What would safe enough conditions look like? Safe enough conditions could look like:

• Being patient and trusting your own timing. Without pressuring or forcing a specific agenda in your healing. Can you honor your own unique pacing?

• Compassionate care and support. Perhaps that's connecting to supportive kind and caring resources and hypo specific grounding practices.

• Giving yourself permission to be an absolute no to a topic. If you’re in a freeze around your sexuality it might be incredibly supportive to give yourself permission to not have to be sexual for a specific amount of time or ever. Sometimes just giving yourself permission to be a “no” to a topic can be incredibly healing and soothing.

• Safe enough connections and environments. Perhaps that’s working with a trusted practitioner, having a loved one you feel safe with or being in a safe environment.

Resourcing to support freeze states.

I like to look at working with freeze responses as tending to them. What would be the most supportive medicine? Often a way we can support our freeze states is by engaging in hypo arousal specific resourcing. Some ways we might do that are:

• Orientation. Without having to erase the freeze can we gently orient ourselves to our space, age, time of day and season? What is there to notice when you orient yourself to the room you’re in?

• Gentle movement. Often gentle movement can feel really nourishing when we’re in a freeze. Perhaps that’s gently swaying back and forth, doing one of your favorite stems or gently squeezing one arm and then the other one. What might you sense at the body level as you do some gentle movements?

• Physical Presence. Without ignoring the numbness or feelings of being frozen can you invite in a bit more stabilization and physical presence? That could look like connecting to the surface beneath you, putting a weighted blanket over you, laying on a heating pad or even placing your palms on the tops of your legs and pressing down.

• Nourishing connection. Is there a real or imagined person, animal or thing that might bring in a feeling of a nourishing connection? Perhaps that’s something in nature, a real person or even an ancestor.

If you’re working on thawing your freeze responses, it can be really supportive to work with a somatic trained therapist or coach who can guide you in these resourcing practices.

It takes time to thaw out our freeze.

The unfortunate reality is that it takes time to thaw out our freeze. Which can often feel like the last thing we want to hear when we’ve identified that we’re in a freeze and really don’t want to be in one. But thawing out freeze dynamics is truly about playing the long game and tending to the thawing of your freeze one small doable step at a time. Which is why when we’re working with freeze we want to:

1. Ask ourselves “what would be the smallest doable step?” The smallest doable step is something that you feel capable of doing, it might feel like a bit of a stretch but it feels doable in your system. Doesn’t feel doable? Then it’s really not a doable step.

2. Celebrate each small tiny step we take in working with our freeze. With this we’re both noticing the small doable steps we’re taking and celebrating all the small ways we’re showing up for our healing. Did you spent 5 minutes orienting yourself to your space? Amazing, please celebrate that! Did you honor your own healing timeline? So beautiful and worthy of celebration!

Can you think of thawing out your freeze like tending to a garden?

Sometimes when we’re doing trauma resolution work it can feel like not much is happening. I like to think of it like tending to a garden. Perhaps you make sure it has a healthy soil, weed the things around it that don’t support it and water it daily. For awhile it looks like nothing is really happening and you might find yourself wondering: “will it ever bloom?” But then one day you look outside your window and you realize that while you were sleeping these gorgeous flowers bloomed overnight. Trauma resolution is like that garden. For awhile it might look like not much is happening on the surface but one day you notice that all those small steady steps have created big changes. Maybe you realize that so much of your freeze has slowly thawed. Or that you now feel comfortable identifying your needs and advocating for them. Perhaps you notice that you’re no longer carrying around so much internalized ableism and shame.

A big part of healing freeze is trusting our own unique healing journey and pacing. That’s why noticing each small doable step and celebrating the teeny tiny shifts is an important way we can trust the process. As you work with your freeze responses can you celebrate all the small ways you’re tending to your healing and well being? Whether you’re at the very beginning of working with your freeze or have been tending to it for awhile now, I am celebrating all the small and big ways you’re showing up for yourself.

Resources consulted & further reading:

• I’m so grateful for the education I’ve received on nervous system health and freeze dynamics. A lot of the information shared in this article comes from The ReBloom Coach Training taught by Rachael Maddox and The Finding Flow course taught by Rachel Halder.

• The different levels of freeze comes from the book The Map of Seven Realms by Brigit Viksnins and Heather de Guzman Gordon. I highly recommend this resource if you want a in depth dive into freeze dynamics.

Thank you for reading!

I hope this blog post was supportive. If you’d like to share a bit about your own experience with freeze dynamics-please feel free to share in the comments.

The information contained in this blog post is for general educational and informational purposes only and should not be construed as medical or mental health advice. The information provided is not a substitute for advice from a qualified professional who is aware of the facts and circumstances of your individual situation. We expressly recommend that you seek advice from a professional familiar with your specific situation.

Your autistic healing matters.

I hope this blog post was helpful in your own autistic healing journey. I truly believe that us late diagnosed autistics deserve autistic affirming healing and I hope you have the best practitioners, tools and support for your own healing.

If you’re seeking autistic support and healing, I’d love to support you in my 5 month program The Autistic Mentorship. It includes:

1. An intensive intake session & healing map to identify your goals and developmental objectives that we’ll work on in our program together.

2. Three (75 minute) sessions a month.

3. Lots of support & education: think recap emails + personalized practices sent to your inbox, neurodivergent workbooks and resources and two optional 30 minute check-in calls.

You can find out more about The Autistic Mentorship here.

Tiffany Landry is an autistic coach and trauma resolution practitioner. She works with queer and autistic clients in her program The Autistic Mentorship. Tiffany also writes a free newsletter on Substack called The Queer Autistic Newsletter.